sotongintehpeng

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 i'm having very complicated feelings. i'm happy that more people know about my thoughts, yet i'm feeling bad for speaking ill things about this two men. i shall label them "pervertic" and "sucker". pervertic comes from the word pervert, and i mean it, he's a PERVERT! he thinks he knew me for like 36 hours, he can behave like knew me for 3 years! no no! he's trying to act more than a friend.. he is so touchy! he put his arm around your shoulder, faces side-by-side when he takes a photo with you. you can feel his body's warmth for that few seconds.. and whenever he tries to start a conversation with you, you realise he is closer and closer to you. his eyes are so big, and his teeth are so white, he is simply like any other b*ng*l*, whose trying to prey on you! once, a friend and i was looking at the nice pictures on this laptop screen. i shifted very much to a big corner of the chair, for a better view. little i expected, he conveniently place his butt on the chair i'm sitting. again, you felt his warmth.. girls, you know what i mean.. the huge fear within of those he have done to me. later i come to realise, i am not the only one affected. i have the urge to tell him off for the entire female species' sake. well, i dont see a point in doing it now. i am afraid to even talk to him the fear can never be taken out of me, it'd be worse if he thinks of making amends for his actions. he certainely dont deserve this chance! what am i doing now, is to tell all people, especially girls, to keep a distance from him. you never know when he's gonna act (again).. here comes the sucker. i am not those good kid who listens to lesson and sometimes ask simply questions, maybe sometimes silly ones. he had the paitence to answer my question intially. as time goes by, he gave me this i'm-pissed-off look and ask me to figure it out myself. come on! i wouldnt be asking you a question when i can solve it! my learning style is different. i need explanations to understand why, i need to come out with my logic before i get the whole darn picture. i believe that we pay school fee to learn and when we ask, we actually learn too. and here i have someone who is paid for not solving his students' question, and talks about the text, instead of teaching us paitently. here is the worst scenrio, he suck up to students who are better off in this module. well, i am rebelling against him now. i know, this wont do me any good, because he teaches me the module. and i know, i certainely dont wanna depend my life on him, because he's not worth my attention, period. i shall prove my ability, not for his sake, but for mine. now, i am feeling so bad after i've bad-mouthed for the whole day. what will people think of me? if i am in their shoes, i think i'm too much of a idiot, making a scene out of it. i guess i am someone who moves my mouth more than i work. being too expressive isnt too good a thing sometimes. at least i found one of my flaws, it isnt too late to change. :P i need to move on, nagging too much brings me nothing. and now i know, i am not as mature as i think.. Joanne