sotongintehpeng

Monday, January 23, 2006 It’s the start of got a new week.. CNY is around the corner.. It’s a time for celebration.. I should be happy but yet,I’m too stressed to feel anything.. I remember my mum was nagging about CNY is coming when it’s only the end of Nov 05.. Then she goes:"NO TIME..!There’s lots of thing I havent do.." I thot:she’s just too tensed up,since she said it almost every year.. Probably she’s right this time.. This is only the three week of school.. But it feels like O-levels is just days away.. No time to enjoy.. No time to slack.. I started questioning myself again:"were you back because you wanted to come back..?are you sure that you can make it to the end..?" I’m doubtful.. Maybe I should have go into a course of my choice in ITE College.. I’m starting to regret it.. So regretful that I wanted to kill myself.. Why am I born into what I am..? Why are you always compared with your brother..? Why are you so lazy and taking things so easily..? Why would your father looked down at you as N(A) student..? Why are you afraid that your father but not the others might look down at you again if you got into ITE..? There’s too much why for me.. I’m losing my soul.. I cried.. At least a few times in a week.. I cried because I think I’m useless.. It’s the only way I can release whatever unhappiness and stress in me.. I quarrelled with my mother again.. I seems to be in the wrong everytime.. She’ll always protect her stand firmly even she knew that she might be wrong [maybe she didn’t even know].. She nagged,screamed and tried to whack me.. I had enough.. It’s alright if she wanna curse me.. Just don’t bother me with those strained relationships between my father and his relatives.. I would rather stab myself with a knife.. Better than wasting anymore resoures on me.. Don’t bother to console me or anything.. Wont help.. Because I know,no matter how much I said,I’ll pull it thro’.. But I’ll thank anyone who read my post up to this point of time.. May god bless you all.. =] Joanne [chewing on the sweets xiaomei gave me..] It’s the first day of school.. I’m feeling very excited as I’ll be able to indulge myself into the land of knowledge.. I supposed I got my thoughts all straighten out.. I want to study.. Schooling is really fun.. The best part was to be with your best friends and accompany each other thro’ the whole process.. I bet I gonna miss HS after my O levels.. Anyway,I didn’t know which class I went into until yanrong told me this morning at the parade sq.. I went into 5A1,along with eileen,weina,suat teng & jasmine while joel,yanrong & vivien were in 5A2.. I was abit sad upon knowing that we are in a different class.. I like joel’s accompany thot’ he’ll may think I’m a nusiance or even a Kpo.. As usual,I sat down with fatin.. Some thots came into my brain.. "hey joanne!can you believe this..?time files and you’re now taking O levels!never thot that you could make it this far right..?and also..you are now 17.. .." the numbers "17" grew bigger and bigger.. I’m already so old le..! At this point,I felt abit lost.. I kept answering the people around me.."do you feel very weird..?" Yanrong,joel,yihui and gang felt it too.. Lolx.. The bell ring & we sang the national athem & school song [actually we didn’t sing lah..] And all of us start chatting again.. As we gota wait for our teachers first.. We laughed and joked around.. We also made rosalind blushed.. Whahaha.. Then we proceeded back to our classrooms.. Whahahaha.. We are located at level 1.. So convenience.. Eileen and I don’t have to worry about climbing any stairs just incase we got our legs injured again.. Lolx.. My class got a new ‘but seems to be quite experience’ form teacher.. Her name is Mrs Goh Wai Yee.. She gave us a very formal address and she look very serious and fierce.. I simply don’t think she’s that difficult to talk to with.. Hmmm,somehow I think she gonna help me throughout this year with my poor physics [yea,she teaches me physics.. Then,we had this diagnostic test for english.. O levels papers seems so different from N levels.. It was a short paper with only one passage.. It was about how living creature on earth prey & hide away from predator.. Pretty interesting.. After the papers,we waited for the bell to ring for recess then Mr ferandaz* came in and gave us a lecture.. Suat teng almost got scolded for her white frame specs.. Then we had recess.. Mrs Goh was waiting for us.. She formed the class committee.. She talks again.. as a mother of two,she nags.. she went thro’ those ground rules and the attitude we should have in class,I simply dozed off.. Sianx.. The bell rang again and it’s time for english.. Then Ms chia came in.. A new but still experience teacher.. She’s really skinny and she’s abit huckle-backed.. But she got a very nice voice.. She also very jovial and taught us the don’ts in writing a newspaper articles in a fun way.. She tried to speak like a english amn and it resemble so much that we burst into laughter.. Whahaha.. We were asked to write a newspaper articles until an hour or so.. To my surprise,I was able to write at the speed where I think.. Writing was pretty smooth for me.. That a really good start.. Happy for myself.. The bell rang for dismissal and my gang went for lunch at hougang point.. We chat and do some window shopping before we headed home.. Okay..i’ll end here.. It’ve been a tiring day for me already..[and I dunno why too..!] Thank you my lords for giving me a fun day like today.. =] May god bless everyone out there..! =P Joanne Friday, January 20, 2006 It’s TGIF..! Oh,of course,you guys will be thinking of going somewhere to take a short break during the weekend.. It’s not the case for me.. Lolx.. Sec 5 is really tough.. I can feel the gap between us & the express.. I do wonder whether I can still make it anot.. I recalled those days when I’m still 4A2.. I enjoyed schooling very much.. I didn’t even complete all my homework.. Everything changed.. I became a attentive girl in class.. I’ll make sure that I would understand every single thing which were taught in class.. I make sure I’ll do my homework.. I’ll plan time aside to do as much practices as possible.. I try not to doze off in class.. Can you feel the change in me..? Probably just abit.. But I felt it.. It’s been two weeks already.. It’s great that I’m still the ‘in-charge’ of my weak brain.. I’m able to suppress the stress I’m facing.. I just let it off by crying.. And it’s nothing to be shame about.. JUST CRY IT OUT..! Heehee.. ~Alittle more to share.. I’m rather frustated with the school’s management.. All sec 5s are banded into two classes for english by our N-levels results.. Good news was I’m in the Band I class[anyway,it’s nothing to be proud about..].. Bad news was Ms Chia was put to teach the Band II classes..! Damn it man..! I really miss her very much.. I missed her way of teaching and the practice papers she prepared for us.. Then I got Mrs Ravi as my english teacher.. In the past,I make sure that I’ll give her a hard time.. For no reason,I feel quite comfortable learning from her.. Probably I’ve learned how to accept changes quickly.. I don’t know.. Then maths.. I’ll always the one to say "huhx..what is this..???" I ‘invented’ lots of different ‘methods’ to solve algebraric equations.. And I’m always plotting my points at the wrong spot on graphs.. I simply had forgetten everything I learned during sec 4..!die liao.. How to survive..? That’s not all.. I’m stuck with a blank mind.. No inspiration and motivation to do D&T.. I have to hand in five problems with possible solution.. But now,I only have one in mind.. It’s a really BIG problem.. I don’t even know whether I should just work on it anot.. Sianx.. Mr Chua being really good.. He just say;"show it to me when you’re ready.." But he’ll make sure that I finish my project before I touch the others.. Lolx.. Cause he’ve been complaining to the whole world that I rather work on other’s project then mine.. =P that’s about it.. God bless us and thanks for the blessings..! =P Joanne