sotongintehpeng

Friday, February 17, 2006 it's gonna be a relaxing weekend for me.. since..CA1 was over..! what i would say is,i made lots of changes in the year 2006.. firstly,i tried to be really attentive in class.. i studied for class tests (when i cant be bother about it in the past..) .. i burnt midnight oils just to make sure that all the facts get into my head.. omg..can you believe that..?!? it was such a great achievement..! i studied so hard was for two reasons.. one;i wanna make sure that i'll be better-prepared for O levels.. because i know,i wont be able to absorb everything at the last min,when O levels is near the corner.. second;kaifai and i had a deal.. whoever score better in the overall will be granted three wishes by the loser.. lolx.. so,i'm very eager to know how i've fared for the test.. since i put in 'so much' effort.. (as compared in the past) i'll update more info on this soon..! after so long,i really wondered.. did i abused my blog..? i always believed that every single thing on earth has feelings.. my mum would lose her temper (or depressed) on me when my parents quarrelled.. by then,i'll be mentally abused and became real depressed.. sometimes,i'm physically abused (beaten by hands and hangers,worse,poked by a lighted joss stick) i neither cry it out,or i start blogging.. i'll feel better after that.. did my readers become as stressful as i am after reading so much..? i don't know.. but everyone would start to tag encouraging words on my blog.. i really thanks all of us out there for that.. for accompanying me thro' my bad times and every other things.. thx..! =] may my lords bless you.. =] Joanne Sunday, February 12, 2006 Am I dreaming..? I felt like I’ve had fallen off a cliff.. the surrounding is pitch dark.. I streached my hands a source of help.. My fingers were pricked by those thorns of that beautiful red rose.. They say;a stalk of red rose symbolises warm and love.. But I’ll say;that stalk of red rose will only symbolises harm and cruelty.. Will I be able to find my way,towards the rays of hope..? I felt no sense of belonging.. I was looked down,always depised.. Where did Confidence and Hope went too..? Pls don’t abondon me.. I need you.. Love for you turned out to be a torture to myself.. Every single word you said were like needles,poking into my heart.. You always wanted me to grow and understand how to be a useful and righful person.. But you were never a good example.. Pls..show me that you are brave enough to admit your mistakes,not accusing me for what I did not do.. I may be wilful and forgetful but I’m not the little and insensible girl you knew before.. I’m your daugther,not your transporter or a rubbish bin.. I need your Love,Trust and Respect.. Until then,I’ll be willing to lend you my ears to heard you speak.. I plead you.. Don’t scold me,encourage me.. Don’t think that I cant never be serious when I want to.. Don’t blame me because you were frustated.. Don’t talk to me,listen first.. Don’t say you knew me inside out because you don’t.. Will you ever be able to do all these..? I doubt so.. But,I’m always willing to wait until the day comes.. Joanne Saturday, February 11, 2006 My mind is messed up with many different thoughts.. But none of them are good ones.. Fear.. Anger.. Disappointment.. And Heartbroken.. The O-levels result was out ytd.. All the alumni flocked in the school hall.. They are all very nervous.. They wanted to know where they stand and which teriorty* schools can they get in to.. I was there too.. I stood outside the school hall,feeling nervous.. I was worried about how did Joel and the others fared..[thought Joel only took the Maths exam..] I heard from some teachers earlier.. Many failed english.. I knew the papers were difficult,hopefully they didn’t do that badly.. Then Mr Chia came in and spoke for 30mins.. We did quite alright this time round,except for english.. Quite a number of them only qualified for ITE.. But some did very well.. They had many As and Bs.. Our sec 5NA top student was interview by the newspaper.. With a B3 for english and 4 A1s,she become the 5NA scholar.. And I’m very proud of her,too..! Congrats to all we passed with flying colours..! What followed up was the distribution of the results slip.. Joel got a A2 for Maths.. He did well,thot.. But I knew that he wasn’t satisfied.. He always wanted a A1.. What to do..? Joel and I went back into the school hall again,trying to locate esther and the gang.. We were concern about how they did.. To my surprise,I found them at a corner,with their eyes all red and swollen.. Something bad must had happened.. Yea.. They failed english.. Li Bin failed english so badly that she only qualitified for Higher Nitec.. But she did quite alright for others subjects..! That’s not very fair to her.. I tried to encourage her to retake english.. There’s no point doing something you didn’t want.. In any case,I’ll support every decision she made.. Then I heard someone sighing;"english failed..so what if I score all A1s?I cant get into anywhere.." I stood there,thinking;"what if it’s me..?" I’ll be at a loss too.. So I decided to buck up.. Study hard for the upcoming CA test.. I was with Yan Rong this afternoon.. We went to Compass Point,hoping to find a peaceful place to study but the mall was too crowded.. Even the library was filled and noisy.. We then decided to settle down in delifrance.. I brought a small Mocha Crunch Frappe & Yan Rong had a Regular Vanilla Crunch Frappe.. This was yummy.. Yan Rong find it too bitter for her,thot.. We were very focused.. Yan Rong was working on a maths qns while I was picking points for my revision on Health Care Services in Singapore.. A pump,middle-aged crew punched in for work.. When I looked up,she gave me this sincere look and asked the both of us the gave up our seats for the others.. Okay,maybe it was because the table we occupied was meant for 4 person.. But the other round tables free for others to sit down.. We decided to glue our butt onto the chairs.. 10 mins later,she tapped Yan Rong’s shoulder which gave her a shock.. she kindly asked us to move to somewhere else to study,for the sake of other customers.. I was alittle pissed off.. We purchased something from them.. And there are other tables available.. We packed our stuff and moved to a smaller table.. Even before we settled down,she asked us not to sit down and thanked us.. Her in-charge or manager didn’t even said anything.. She’s being a Kpo lor.. I’m really fed up.. I’m gonna write a complain letter.. So to let her know that we’re still her CUSTOMERS no matter what we’re purchased.. We left the place and went for a round of window-shopping.. Joel joined us.. He was damn irritating.. He tried to give me a massage but ended up toturing my shoudlers.. Arrrrrrh..! We then make our way to Hello! Shop.. We had this conversation on the imptance of english in s’pore.. I always believed that we should at least be able to speak fluent chinese because it’s our mother tongue.. He disagree,saying that english is far more impt.. So..? I pointed out that China is opening the market,mardarin can be very impt in the future.. The worst part was that I agrue in english while he replied in chinese..! Yan Rong was stucked in between us,surprised by the language we use to support our point.. We reached the shop and browsed thro the phones on display.. Joel took some paphlets and went up to one of the salesperson.. He asked some qns,in broken english.. I felt embrassed by the way he spoke.. He never spoke in proper english.. How can he convince me that english is more impt..? Damn it.. There’s one problem we havent solve.. Where are we gonna study..?? I suggested that we can go to my place thot I know it was out of bounds.. Anyway,it’s CNY..! I called home,pleaded my mum.. Then she screamed at me.. Cant we study outside..?she just cleaned up the whole house..! Disappointed,we took service 156 and went home since we got no where to go.. We discussed about the topics on SS while we were waiting for the bus to arrive.. We relieased that the information given to us were different..! The bus came.. I went up the bus first.. When I turned back,I saw "black clouds" flowing on top of Yan Rong’s head.. It’s so obvious that she’s stressed up.. I told her to relax.. Lolx.. Sec 5 is like that one.. We’re back to accomplished the same mission.. Haix.. We reached home.. I planned to study right after my bath but it was ruined by my mum.. The moment she knew I was home,she start screaming again.. Of course,we quarreled again.. She’s being very irreasonable.. She ordered me to do whatever she thought was right.. I was already pissed off by the crew at delifrance and I’ve to get more scolding when I reached home..? I went into the bathroom,washed my undergarments as well as those dirty socks.. When I came out,she ordered me to hang them to dry.. She said that she wants me to learn what’s right and what’s wrong.. Damn,she always thought that her idology are perfect and I should adopt it too.. She expect me to listen to her and if I don’t,I’ll get my retribution.. She so superitious and she made joel one too.. I moved to the dinning table so the write my notes and I ended up agrue with her again.. I’ll make this clear.. Don’t tell me anything regarding family problems.. Don’t ask me to get anything from daddy with you two had a cold war.. Don’t order me to do anything,you got to convince me first.. I only have a little wish.. I just want to enjoy my weekends.. I just wanna be free from stress and trouble.. May a miracle appear in my next post.. =] (PS:one last warning,don’t tell joel anything that are found in my posts..if he’s really interested,he’ll read it himself..) Joanne Saturday, February 4, 2006 two words to describe my day; tired & frustated.. the year of dog should be a good year for my fellow snakes & me.. but everything seems to crush on me.. i felt helpless.. no one understands me.. i might look as if i cant be bothered and i care.. i really care.. that's why i'm always hurted.. some say i'm silly and yes,i am.. i realised now.. i've been neglecting those who deeply care for me.. i'm sorry.. to those whom hurted me.. you took me for granted.. i'll have no regrets if i have to lose you as a friend.. we will never know what will happen in the future.. dont say my words hurts because you are the one whom had hurted me.. that's all god bless me with good health,clear mind & a smile.. Joanne