sotongintehpeng

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 ho ho ho.. one month had passed.. got my results ytd..! hmmm.. it was shocking good to me..! very happy..! it was the best christmas gift for myself.. heehee.. it's like..everyone around me kept asking;"hey,you're nervous/scare?" i told them;"nah..it wont help at all.." but,as what i heard from yanrong..everyone was scared.. i'm just simply anormal.. maybe i was too busy at work and had no time to think about it bah.. maybe it's a blessing in disguise*.. yea,i'm scared.. i dont wanna get into ITE and let my mum feel disappointed & my dad to look down at me again.. i've been suai by my dad for going into normal acdemic.. and i will never forget that.. my heart aches everytime when i recalled the way he spoke to me about my classmates..! i wanna prove that i'm powerful when he though i'm useless.. i prayed very hard to Guan Yin Ma.. hoping that everyone from 4A2 could be promoted.. then we can be 5A2 again..[lolx] i think Guan Yin heard my prayers.. but he did not grant my wish completely.. i was so sad.. six repeats & one to ITE.. haix..i guess this meant that the world is not prefect at all.. some will suceed and some will fall.. but i believed.. for those whom fell,god will support them with courage to stand up again..! jiayou oO..! talking about my life.. it had been disasterous*.. working aint as easy as i thought.. being in the retail line was completely different compared to being in the F&B line.. although we often talk about good service for our customers & team work.. lolx.. the enviroment..haix.. to me,i've been suffering mentally for the past few weeks.. i guess i was too..too simple-minded.. counter is definity a different place from sales floor.. at sales floor,you dont get to joke around.. not even to talk in small groups.. worse when there is no one except you on the sales floor.. when sales was low in the morning.. never mind about that.. i dont seems to be able to communicate with my seniors.. thought the situation had improved.. but sometimes,i wonder;"why am i still in this sickening place?" i never felt so lost.. i never felt that i was damn stupid & slow.. imagined the sky came crushing down on me.. maybe it's time,maybe it's just sheer luck.. i pull through.. at least,i'm much happier working there now.. i guess i'm still a normal girl.. whom gets abit jealous sometimes.. or maybe an attention seeker.. or even over-sensitive.. when seeing my supervisor joke around with others but not with me.. when no one bother to talk to me.. when others don't even smile at me.. lolx.. Tian Gong & Guan Yin Ma were always looking at me bah.. maybe they dote me.. at least,i felt much more better now.. i felt satisfied after serving every customer..! some praised me for my glib tongue..[not bragging hor..!] and especially when some of them gave me a pat on my shoulder & said thank you.. i'm felt great..! i felt the gratitude through their eyes.. nevermind if no one talks to me.. nevermind if everyone thinks i'm slow and stupid.. feeling happy would lead me to a bubbly life..! best of all,they gave me the best present for x'mas,my N levels result..! thought it wasnt as good as joel's.. but i'm contented and thankful..! heehee.. i am still a very happy-go-lucky person and this will never change.. as said;dont worry,be happy..!happy go lucky..! i suppose this phase fits me perfectly.. heehee.. i'll end here then.. i used to say;i'll try to write less the next time.. for now i'll said;i'll try to write more cuz blogging is fun..! heehee.. my god bless us..thank you very much..! specially from me to mrs devan,,!! thankx for the everything you gave me..without your guidance throughout these four years,i would never ever scored so well for my humanities..!i'm so hurted upon receving the message that you are leaving us..i thought i'll be given a chance at sec 5 to treasure you as my best teacher..i guess things would always happen unexpectly..thank you very well..i'll never be able to repay for what ever you done for me & the knowleadge you gave me..i sincerity hope that you can feel the gratitude i had towards your love & encouragment..thank you!!may god bless you a smooth journey towards your future!! Joanne